Casual Sex: What It Means and How to Approach It

Physical intimacy and relationships do not always have to be tightly connected. Sometimes, you just want to have a good time and aren’t afraid that you might never see the other person again. Even though some are strictly against one-night stands, many dream of casual sex. No responsibilities, no hurt feelings — just two people enjoying each other’s bodies. 

However, the thing is, you can’t just say, “Hey, want sex without commitment?” to someone you fancy. If you want it to be good and enjoyable, you need to put in some effort. But no worries; with our tips, you will get laid very soon. Check out what our experts suggest!

What is Casual Sex?

Basically, we are talking about sex without love. Some say it’s intimacy without feelings, but we are going to argue with that. Getting so close to another person ignites a lot of strong emotions, such as passion, excitement, and euphoria. 

☝️Recent data indicates that 60% to 80% of North American college students have engaged in some form of hookup experience. One thing that describes casual sex very well is the fact that both partners do not have any expectations regarding the future together. In some cases, a hookup turns into something serious. While that is true, the main point is that you shouldn’t wait for it. 

❤️ You need to understand that there is no rule or law saying that casual sex is good or bad. All the opinions about it are simply what other people think, and you are one of these people. So, for instance, if you tell your friend that you’re into casual sex, this adds +1 to the side of those saying no-strings-attached intimacy is a great thing. 

Pros and Cons of Sex Without Commitment

Casual sex is a double-sided coin. Whether it affects you positively or negatively really depends on the perspective you take when looking at it. We decided to make it easier for you to compare all the advantages and disadvantages of this intimate activity. Check out these two lists!

Benefits of casual sex:

• Can be healthy. If you treat physical intimacy as an exercise, it can bring you great relief after an exhausting day.
• Adds excitement to your life. There is something special about being so physically close to the person you barely know. 
• Easier to manage. After you are both satisfied, you don’t need to worry whether she or he likes you and wants something more than just a one-night stand.
• Perfect for busy people. No time to develop a relationship? Meaningless sex can be a great choice.

Drawbacks of casual sex:

• Not for people who get attached easily. In other words, casual sex is not for those who are romantic and can fall in love quickly.
• Emotional roller coaster. Casual sex may leave you feeling guilty or empty, as well as unloved and not worthy of commitment.

10 Ways on How to Have Casual Sex

Here you are, ready to go for it more than ever. Willing to get physically close with someone just like that, without any romantic promises, commitment, or unnecessary feelings. You are excited and can’t wait to do it. But the question is, how? Where do you find casual sex, and how do you shift your communication toward the one-night-stand direction? Luckily, you found our guide, where we describe everything in detail. Keep reading and find out everything you need to know. 

1. Try dating platfroms

When it comes to sleeping with someone casually, one of the hardest things for many is to find a partner. Dating websites and apps are the perfect place for many reasons. First, you can state your intentions clearly from the start by describing them in your bio. Second, you are not going to get rejected. Men and women with the same interests will reach out to you. Doesn’t that sound ideal? On top of that, you can filter out all the users to see only those who are also looking for a no-strings-attached relationship. 

When signing up on one of such platforms, make sure to upload a couple of good, up-to-date photos of yourself. Appearance is often the main factor in choosing a partner for casual sex.  

2. Be honest but not blunt

How to ask for casual sex? Even those who consider having sex but not in a relationship totally normal don’t like to talk about it straightforwardly. You still need to have a little flirty game before you get physically close with another person. Therefore, when you want to show that you’re into a friend-with-benefits kind of relationship, don’t be too blunt about it.  For instance, you could say something like, “I just want to have fun.” This is enough to indicate your intentions and not come across as rude in case the other person has a different idea of spending time with you. 

3. Think about safety ahead

If you want to have a one-night stand, you should consider that you know nothing about the other person. Well, unless you decide to do it with someone from your circle, which is normally a terrible idea. Anyway, you need to make sure your sex without commitment is not going to leave you with any diseases. 

First of all, discuss this subject with your partner. You’re an adult, and there is nothing wrong with being practical and careful. Second of all, use protection in any case. After all, pregnancy is also not the best bonus of casual sex. 

4. Establish your sexual boundaries

Many people like to differentiate between physical intimacy with and without commitment. For instance, some do not even kiss when having casual sex with friends. They find that this way, it feels even more like an exercise to make your body feel better. There are also people who avoid direct penetration, saving themselves for a future partner. Think about your own preferences and do not hesitate to communicate them. 

5. Be confident even if it’s your first time

You keep saying, “I want sex but not a relationship” but are afraid to take the first step? It’s crucial that when you do take action after all, you are 100% sure about your decision. Even if you have never done anything like this before, you need to be as confident as you can. This trait is incredibly attractive and will definitely help you find a partner quickly.    

6. Flirt a lot

Or, in other words, have fun! Don’t overthink the whole situation; instead, try to focus on how great it is. Be charming, romantic, and cute to make the other person feel wanted and hot. Flirt with them, make dirty talk if that’s what you like, tease each other, and enjoy every moment of the intimate connection you have. 

7. Don’t care about inner beauty

This may sound mean, but you really shouldn’t worry about the other person’s character traits. Unless they are annoying you, of course. If your potential one-night stand partner is not the sharpest tool in the shed, there is no reason to say goodbye. If this person looks hot and makes you feel excited, you are going in the right direction. 

By the way, some even suggest keeping chat to a minimum to avoid unnecessary feelings. This way, you are less likely to get disappointed that your intimate partner has interests entirely contradicting yours or, on the opposite, fall in love. 

8. Don’t go for one-night stands with your ex

Sleeping with people you’ve had a romantic past with is never a good idea. It can make it extremely difficult to maintain a platonic friendship afterward. Once intimacy is reintroduced, feelings of love and attraction often resurface, even if you don’t intend for them to. What typically distinguishes friends from romantic partners is the absence of that level of closeness. Reigniting a sexual relationship can also reignite the emotions tied to it, whether you want or not.

This also applies to close friends. When intimacy is added to an already strong connection, it blurs the lines and makes it easier for the relationship to shift toward romance.

9. Change partners

When dating, it’s common to see someone two or three times a week, but if you’re aiming to keep things casual, limit your time together to no more than once a week. You need to protect your emotions from deepening. Therefore, make sure you don’t hook up with the same person over and over again. If you’ve agreed with someone that you’re casually seeing other people, vary your interactions to avoid becoming too attached to any one person. Do whatever you can to minimize the risk of developing stronger feelings.

10. Don’t get too romantic

If you want your relationship to be physical only, avoid things that bring you closer together emotionally. No breakfasts together or talking about personal things, or spending time together outside of the bedroom. Focus only on the physical part and make sure you’re both happy without adding anything more. 

Things like nice gifts, long conversations, or lots of time spent together are a taboo as well. Instead, make sure to have intimate pleasure, and when you are both satisfied, break up to avoid developing feelings. 

Can Casual Sex lead to a Relationship?

Users on Quora are convinced that becoming a couple after being hookup partners is rare. Plus, even if your casual intimacy turns into a real thing, it might be awkward. No matter how hard you try, you still act differently when having sex without feelings. Becoming a couple at some point will be like discovering each other from completely different sides. Who knows, maybe the new versions of each other will attract you even more?  

Conclusion

Is casual sex healthy? Is it safe? The answer depends on how you approach it. If you keep your feelings in check and use protection, you may have the best night in your life with a random stranger. To find someone to have casual sex with, be flirty, confident, and honest about your intentions. Going from friends with benefits to a couple is normally a long and difficult way, but it’s not impossible. Have an exciting, hot adventure of a lifetime!