how to apologize to your boyfriend

Relationships are all about ups and downs. Sometimes, it’s your boyfriend or husband who does something wrong and has to find a way to fix it. Sometimes, it is you. When it comes to saying sorry, you may notice that it is quite hard. Interestingly, more than one-third of people say that the most difficult person to apologize to is their spouse or partner.

The trickiest part is often finding the right words. On one hand, you want to be honest and sincere. On the other hand, you’re fighting the itch to remind him of his previous failures, saying that now you are even. Want to know how to apologize to your boyfriend properly? Check out this article!

Why Should I Apologize to Boyfriend?

The most obvious reason to say sorry is that… you love him! This implies that you want to make this person happy and satisfied with the relationship. Owning up to your mistakes fosters trust and demonstrates that you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions. Give your boyfriend that pleasure.  

Here are some more reasons to say “I’m sorry”:

  • Resolving the conflict. Holding grudges does not make any good impact on your relationship. A sincere apology can help get rid of the tension and prevent small domestic issues from escalating into bigger conflicts.
  • Demonstrating your love. Apologizing to your boyfriend shows that you care about his perspective and value his emotional well-being. That’s something you would expect from a partner you’re building a life with. 
  • Personal growth. Even if apologizing feels like the hardest thing to you now, you will enjoy the relief after doing it. Admitting your mistakes is a truly mature thing to do, and you will certainly be proud of yourself once you make this step. 

What He Thinks When You Apologize

One of the reasons why you find apologizing to be so hard, even if you keep thinking, “I hurt his feelings” is that you don’t know how your boyfriend or spouse will react. For instance, you may be worried, “What if, after listening to how sorry I am, he will not be able to forgive me?” Or perhaps you want him to apologize in response and fear that it might not happen. What will you do then? 

apology to boyfriend

Take a deep breath and read about the thoughts men normally have when they hear “I’m sorry” from their partner and answer it. Get ready to be surprised!

  • If he says something like, “I appreciate you saying that; it shows me we’re still in this together,” he feels that…

you are on the same page. While being in a conflict often feels like you have totally different views of the situation, a sincere apology to boyfriend shows that you’re still a team. It’s important to make your boyfriend understand this. 

  • If he says something like, “Thank you for apologizing. It means a lot to know that you value our relationship,” he feels that… 

he is important to you. When fighting, we may say some quite offensive things about the other person. Saying sorry will help you show that you value your partner despite any flaws he may have. 

  • If he says something like, “I’m glad you said that. I really want us to move past this and get back to normal,” he feels…

a great relief. When your life partner turns into an enemy, you feel tension 24/7. Therefore, hearing an apology gives a man hope that a conflict can be resolved and life will finally get back to normal. 

7 Ways to Apologize to Your Boyfriend for Being Not Right

Maybe you were ready to say that you were sorry already during your fight but could not find the right words for it. That’s a real problem that lots of people bump into. But don’t worry; we have got you covered with our tips on how to ask for forgiveness in a relationship. Check them out! 

Be clear 

    It’s crucial to say what exactly you’re apologizing for. You should avoid being too general and just saying, “Sorry.” Try to explain why you acted the way that brought the two of you into conflict. Let’s imagine, last evening you had a fight because he didn’t answer your calls while watching football with friends, and you got really mad about it. Describe how you felt while listening to the phone beeps, thinking about all the bad things that could have happened to the love of your life. Tell him that you were so angry because your feelings for him are incredibly strong, and you hope that he understands that. 

    Take responsibility 

      Your conflict may involve more people than just the two of you. In this case, it’s important to avoid bringing up the others when saying your apology. Let’s imagine you had a fight because you came back from work yesterday annoyed by your boss’ behavior and started shouting at your boyfriend for literally no reason. When saying how sorry you are, you should only talk about your own fault and avoid blaming your boss. Let your partner know that you admit your own mistakes. 

      Do it in person

        Have you considered texting him “I’m so sorry, babe” on WhatsApp when trying to figure out how to apologize to a man you hurt? Please remove this idea from your list of options and go for a real face-to-face talk. Your text message can be misunderstood in a million different ways, no matter how carefully you choose emojis to express your feelings. If you have a long-distance relationship, agree on the time when the two of you could have a video call. Seeing how the other person reacts is crucial when apologizing. If you want to prepare him for this call, you could first send him a real emotional sorry letter for boyfriend. 

        Listen to what your boyfriend has to say

          Perhaps the perfect scenario you have in mind is that you apologize to boyfriend, he says he definitely forgives you, you hug each other, and the conflict is forgotten. Nevertheless, your partner may want to express his own feelings about the situation to make sure the two of you discuss each aspect. Let him talk, and listen carefully to every word. The fact that you care about his perspective might mean even more to your boyfriend than the actual apology. 

          Buy something he likes

            Looking for the best ways how to say sorry to your boyfriend? According to a recent survey, 38% of people consider an apology easier to accept if it comes with a gift. Therefore, our next piece of advice is to get an apology gift for him. It could be something small, like a t-shirt that says “Best cat dad in the world” or dinner delivery from his favorite sushi restaurant. Receiving such a present and sincere word from you will surely melt his heart. 

            Say “Sorry” only if you’re actually sorry

              Sometimes, it might feel like apologizing for things you don’t consider yourself guilty of is the best solution. We totally get the temptation to do so when you’ve been living in a conflicting atmosphere for a couple of days and your partner doesn’t seem to be sorry for anything. 

              In this case, instead of apologizing, you could initiate a conversation where both of you talk about their points of view peacefully. In addition, you could say that you’re sorry for the way you make your boyfriend feel; this statement fits most situations.  

              Ask if he forgives you 

                A psychological scientist, Roy Lewicki, and his team found that the best apologies include 6 key parts: expressing regret, explaining what went wrong, taking responsibility, declaring repentance, offering to make amends, and asking for forgiveness. 

                It’s also crucial to have closure. You need to know whether your partner understood your point of view and accepted your apology or… not. So finish your little speech with a question. It could be something like, “I’m sorry for hurting you. Would you be able to forgive me?” Hearing his “Of course, I do. I love you to the moon and back” will give you a feeling of accomplishment, which is not the least important thing. 

                “I’m Sorry” Paragraphs for Him: 4 Apologize Messages

                apology letters to boyfriend

                Of course, we have no clue about your particular situation. Nevertheless, we take the risk of creating a few ideas for forgiveness letters to boyfriends you could adjust and use to resolve a conflict. The main rules here are to be sincere and say things only when you really mean them. 

                1. “I know that I hurt you a lot with what I have done, and I am incredibly sorry for that. Believe me, the last thing I ever wanted was to be a reason for your pain. I’m deeply sorry, and I would be the happiest person in the world if you forgave me.”
                2. “I love you. And I am sorry I don’t say it often enough. What I’ve done has been terrible, I admit. I am looking at you now, and the only thing I can think about is how I could ever hurt this most amazing, caring, and handsome man I have ever known! I hope you forgive me with all my heart.”
                3. “I know it is hard to forgive me for the things I have done, but if you can do it, I would be grateful forever. I am sincerely sorry things didn’t work out. I promise to work on myself and to be more considerate of your feelings. More than anything in the world, I want to spend my life with you, making you happy. Please, let me do it.”
                4. “You are the one who makes my life beautiful and I am so deeply sorry that I upset you with my words last night. I promise to learn from my mistakes and to be the partner you deserve. Please forgive me and let me show you how much I love you.” 

                What to Do If “Sorry Things” Didn’t Work Out?

                Some situations are hard to fix even with a sincere, romantic sorry for husband. Your partner might have said that he has forgiven you, but you can tell he has not. Or maybe he didn’t even try to pretend that he had. What’s your next move? Here are some tips from relationship experts.

                • Give him space

                Some people need time to process their feelings and make important decisions. Respect your boyfriend’s request for distance and give him the time he needs. Instead of spending this time worrying about the situation, you could use it to reflect on what went wrong and how you can improve yourself. Do it not just for this relationship but for your personal growth.

                • Show that you have changed for real

                If, as a part of your apology, you promised to change the way you behave, show him that you meant it. Start being more considerate of his feelings, show more care and love with your daily actions, and keep improving yourself in different areas. Consistency and patience are key to rebuilding trust.

                • Keep your dignity and remain respectful

                If your apology did not bring the result you anticipated, don’t resort to blame, anger, or negative behavior. Your second half might just need a little more time to analyze the situation and decide how he feels about everything. Don’t mess it up by changing your strategy from “I’m so sorry” to “Actually, you are the one to blame.”


                There are no magical apology letters to boyfriend that would 100% work for everyone. Nevertheless, we promise that with our tips, you’re more likely to succeed. Remember that your “I’m sorry” words should come from your heart and not from a blog article on how to apologize to your boyfriend. Say them with love, and try not to have any expectations. Your main goal should be to express how you really feel about your actions and make your second half happier.

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